This weekend, my bf and I finally moved in together. I’ve been anxious about this change from the moment we found out we were expecting. A lot of the emotion comes from my very young, immature relationship/marriage with my first son’s father. Of course that relationship ended just as dramatic as it began..
The first day of moving I was a wreck. I’m only 3 weeks out from my c-section so I’m not able to do much of anything. 🙂 This, in itself, was hard for me to overcome with all of my control issues, but my bf was amazing, working with my mother and brother to get things moved over to the new place. I was crabby and didn’t contribute much other than attitude. 😦
Fortunately, the bf overlooked my poor attitude and continued moving things on day 2. I decided to accept that my life is transitioning again. As it did before. I can embrace and enjoy it or make it miserable for everyone around me. How dare I choose to make it more miserable for the man who is caring my bed, couches, millions of shoes, dishes and cat litter pan into our new home?
After 3 days of moving we still have a few things lingering in the old place and some cleaning to do, but the feelings of positive change are overwhelming! (I’ve always known I picked a great guy this time around, Why do I forget that??) We got to settle in and talk about my fears and his fears and what were excited about. It was so relieving to hear him talk about our “family”.
Looking back on the weekend, I have an image of my ex-husband and my bf moving the washer and dryer into the new place while my son and his half-sister played out side. And the fist pumping enthusiasm my son shared as he realized my bf, me and himself all lived together now –awaiting baby… said, “YES!!! Now I have a Step-Dad!”
No matter how I’ve worried, it’s all going to be ok.
The last 8 months have went by pretty fast! Everything is going well with the pregnancy. Baby will be arriving by c-section sometime the first week of October.
My 5 year old started Kindergarten a few weeks ago and is doing fantastic in this new environment. I have to admit I was a little more than scared to send him off, but I love our chats each afternoon when I pick him up. He’s learning so much at school and we have a lot to talk about with all the new things he’s getting to experience. From lunch lines, and picking healthy foods, to checking out library books and playing on the play ground. There have been endless new opportunities for teachable moments! And it’s amazing to see him develop his own personality and interests.
On the home front… my bf and I have made the decesion to move in together final! He’s been in my place for about 2 whole days. (We will be moving into our new apartment this weekend.) He’s been so amazingly patient with my mood swings. He’s a diligent backrubber and hugs me without letting go when the unexpected bouts of sobbing start.
For some women pregnancy is a time when the feel more beautiful than ever– I am NOT one of those women. I feel gigantic. The urge to hide from the public is never ending. Baby recently “dropped” further into my pelvic area and so walking has become more difficult, rolling over is nearly impossible without assistance, and the need to go to the bathroom make restroom access a priority at any outing.
Even through all that the BF reminds me I am beautiful and loved. This experience has deepend our love and I am grateful to have him… Over the years of our dating I’ve watched him step-father my son with care, but I’m excited to see him as a father to his own son.
I just found out I’m expecting. This adds a whole new level to my life and I will have more to follow.